The Time I Got Chopped

Being Authentic

The Story

My daughter loves to watch cooking shows with me. We were snuggling on the couch one evening, watching Chopped, when she asked me, “Mom, are those real people?”

Assuming she wanted to know if this was an animated, or live-action, show, I assured her that they were live humans.

But she still looked confused, and I could tell this wasn’t the answer she was looking for.

“What do you mean by real?” I asked. “Do you mean are they actors?”

“Yes, that’s what I mean,” she said, seeming relieved that I understood. I explained the difference between fiction and nonfiction. “They’re not pretending to be anyone else,” I told her. “They can be themselves.”

“Who are they?” she asked.

“They’re just… people,” I said, now feeling as though I wasn’t getting my point across, or more accurately, that I wasn’t even sure of the point I was trying to make. “They’re chefs. You can go to their restaurants.”

“But… are they being real?

And you know what? I didn’t have an answer: I was chopped! Because what the hell is real, anyway? Yes, the people on the screen were real people. (I mean, probably— AI-generated video fakes weren’t available when that Chopped episode was filmed.) But also, they were acting, to some extent. They were following a structured show, which included “confessionals,” the mainstay of reality television that everyone knows is heavily produced.

When I thought about it even more, I realized that all of the chefs had been put in a scenario that was unique, unrepeatable. That meant new aspects of their personality might come out— creativity, ambition, competitiveness. Were they being “real” in the show? Or was “real” when they were home with their partners and families? Was “real” when they were alone? Do we ever get to see another human being completely “real?”

Photo by Markus Winkler on Unsplash

“Authentic” was chosen as Merriam-Webster’s word of 2023, and it’s not hard to understand why. With the rise of AI, “fake news,” conspiracy theories, and the spread of these via social media, we’re all asking ourselves the question my daughter asked me. What is real? What is fake? What’s a made-up story, and what’s happening in the physical world? And how do we tell the difference?

The truth is, we can’t know, at least not all the time. We may not know when someone is being authentic. We may always wonder whether we’re being tricked. But there are two important things to remember.

One, we need to pay attention. If something is ringing false, we should care. We should call the person, or corporation, out on it.

And two, we need to try to be as authentic as we can be, in the spaces where we feel most capable of being “real.” The closer we can get to authenticity in our own hearts, the better we’ll be able to recognize it in others.

The Character Trait

Being authentic means showing the world your most genuine self. It involves knowing yourself well, so you can represent yourself in ways that help others understand you.

Authenticity in the world of artifacts and antiques requires verification. That’s not something available to individuals. But as a society, we can hold each other accountable to our past words and actions, while allowing for the possibility (and hope) for inner growth and change.

Let’s Do Some Stuff Together

For this week, just ask yourself this question: When do you feel the most YOU?

What environment makes you feel authentically yourself? What people, if any, reflect your authenticity back to you? What are you doing, and what traits are you embodying, when you feel most authentic?

Want more?

If you’re a parent or teacher, point out the difference between real and fake in everyday life. Talk about CGI in movies, AI-generated video, and ChatGPT. Our children are growing up in a world where authenticity is harder and harder to verify. In such a world— to paraphrase Mr. Rogers— you must “look for the fact-checkers.”

If you’re a writer/creator, how can you portray your characters more authentically human?

You may be wondering why my “want more” includes information specifically for parents, teachers and writers. Simply put: that’s me! I identify most strongly as these three things, and that means my audience heavily skews that way. But if you’d like a “want more” for your profession, let me know— I’m happy to oblige!

How did this work for you? Leave a comment below, and you might be featured in next week’s newsletter!

Last Week’s Leftovers

It’s been a few weeks since our last post, as I took a break over the holidays. I did gain a few new subscribers since then, so I’d like to take this opportunity to extend a big WELCOME! I’m glad you are here.

Stuff You Might Like To Know

My word for 2024 is RAINBOW. It symbolizes the seven areas of my life where I want to saturate my time. I’m using it as an excuse to buy lots of rainbow stickers, including a new Rainbow Brite sticker for my laptop because… well, I’m an 80s kid!

I read Why Fish Don’t Exist by Lulu Miller over the break. It was mind-blowing.

A new habit for 2024 is to add a song to my 2024 Apple Music playlist every day. By the end of the year, I’ll have 366 (leap year!) songs to represent my year. I’m trying to match the song to my mood; for example, on the day I went back to work this week, I added “9 to 5” to the list.

Here’s to us, in all of our imperfect, striving goodness.

Keep hoping. Keep caring. Keep trying.