How To "Be" During A Stressful Pre-Holiday Week

Do The Work, Then Just Show Up

The Story

This week, I conducted four concerts, two in school and two evening. Each concert is for a fifth grade group that rehearses twice every six school days; due to conference days and snow delays, I only rehearsed each group three times since Thanksgiving. It wasn’t nearly enough to feel prepared, for them or for me. I could have easily been extremely anxious about it.

But I wasn’t, and I chalk that up to three things:

1. Whatever happens on stage, I know I did my best for those kids. There are many elements I can’t control— including whether the kids practice their instruments at home— and I accept that.

2. For better or worse, once the concert is over, we move on. New music, new opportunities. A fresh start for the New Year.

3. My mantra for the kids: the time for work is done; all we can do now is show our work.

It’s taken me all twenty-one years of my career to get to this feeling of “c’est la vie.” I used to be extremely nervous before concerts. Now, I enjoy them. When I’m conducting, I am fully immersed in the moment. I am listening and reacting in real time to my students. I am feeling their nervous/excited energy and seeing the grins on their faces. It can be a truly beautiful experience, no matter the quality of the music.

And, frankly, the quality isn’t high— they’re ten years old— but all I really hear is the progress from the beginning of the year until now, and it fills me with pride.

Band is a long-term, community-based project focused on repeating the same music over and over again— doing specific physical actions with arms, fingers, mouths, and tongues, while reading and counting— and fitting each person’s contribution into a whole. In that way, a band is a wonderful example of going from doing to being— actions, repeated over time, that transforms the group into a purveyor of music and all the emotions music can express.

The work is done; all we can do now is show it.

My band set-up for a recent rehearsal. Ready for the musicians!

I’ll be taking a break for these next few weeks in order to reflect, re-set and prepare for the New Year. You might say that I’m taking a break from doing things and spending the time just being:

I will be a mom who stays present in the room with her kids. I’ll be a silly mom, a soft and snuggly mom, a listening mom.

I will be a hostess who prepares for family visiting her home. I’ll be a welcoming, thoughtful, prepared hostess.

I will be a person who takes care of herself after a stressful, busy period. I’ll be sleeping extra, reading under cozy blankets, and enjoying tea and cookies.

I will be a traveler who gets feelings of refreshment and deep satisfaction from getting out of her comfort zone.

I will be loving. I will be grateful. I will be reflective. I will be joyful. And I will come back ready to do more— but only in alignment with the things I most want to be.

I hope the holidays are all you need them to be this year. Rest, and be blessed.

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Stuff You Might Like To Know

On December 18th, Brevity Blog published a piece by myself and my co-editor Cindy Allen, talking about IN A FLASH. Cindy and I worked hard on the post, but I hope it reads like it was effortless— we wanted it to be a breezy and fun, yet informative conversation. It was such an honor to work with the Brevity Blog editors.

IN A FLASH opens for submissions again for the theme of DREAMS from January 1-15. Send us your best, under 500 words. Stay tuned for our very first author-focused issue on January 1!

I’m reading THE DINNER LIST by Rebecca Searle (a romance novel with magical realism) and THE PLOT by Jean Hanff Korelitz (a literary thriller). I have a whole stack of books I hope to get to over break— I’m at 83 books for the year and my goal was 90. Will I make it?? I don’t know…

I’m listening to every instrumental version of “Sleigh Ride” and “Carol of the Bells” I can find on Apple music.

Happy New Year, everyone. Keep hoping. Keep caring. Keep trying.