Why I (Still) Love America

Here's Where I Am. Come And Join Me.

The Story

One morning last week, I awoke to some very dark thoughts.

My thoughts began with this question: “What will I have at the end of my life if I wind up alone?”

(Told you it was dark. I promise, it gets better.)

It was with some relief that I realized I could list several things. No matter what happens, I’ll have beauty and nature. I’ll have books, my beloved daily remedy. I’ll have community spaces, where I can find laughter and companionship. I’ll always have the ability to learn something new.

That thought was quickly followed by this one: I’m so glad that I live in America.

I think one reason I’m a Democrat is that I don’t believe our societal institutions are inherently corrupt or wholly rotten. Flawed? Absolutely. In need of deep examination and directional change? For sure. But I’m so glad they exist. Because American institutions are the foundation for a high quality of life.

Beauty and nature? Our public parks and protected spaces.

Books? The public library system.

Community spaces? You can find them everywhere you look, from businesses to nonprofits.

Learning? Public schools, higher education, and adult continuing education.

Compared to the rest of the world, and compared to history, these institutions are remarkable— and accessible, to almost everyone. They are one reason I love America.

……….

I wrote the above on the evening of Sunday, 11/10/24. It’s now Monday, 11/11/24 at 5:48 AM. Last night I had a series of horrifying, fear-based dreams. I dreamed of everything from climate change (at one point I woke up believing wind had knocked part of the house down— I heard the thump in my dream) to my children being taken from me. These are the things I fear from the world. These are the things I fear from America with Trump as president. My body and dreaming brain spent the night processing them all.

When I awoke just a little while ago, my heart was pounding. I lay in bed, trying to tell myself that it’ll be all right, but not quite believing it.

Everyone is, at the most basic level, motivated by fear. When we interact with others, and when we vote in a democracy, we’re coming to the community with a whole host of different fears. I’m afraid of a nationwide abortion ban and mass deportation of needed immigrant workers. But others are afraid of high costs and being unable to feed their families, or a war in Gaza that’s impossible to untangle. I can understand this.

And I can also understand how social media lies amplified those fears. It happened to me, too, on the Democratic side! I was incredibly anxious in the lead-up to the election, being fed a steady diet of worries and fears by pundits and pollsters. It was a relief this week to get a break from the firehose of terror.

What I’m saying is, I understand how we got here. Modern society, its breakneck pace and baffling diversity, is frightening. I can desperately wish that we’d picked the path of hope and progress over violence and retribution. But I can still understand, and I would encourage you to try and understand, too. If we can’t bridge the gap, we’ll all keep soaking in our own pools of fear. We won’t have a chance of climbing out and walking forward together.

……….

The last nine years have made the stakes of the American presidency so high. But no one person, no matter his title, can have more impact on your daily life than you and the people around you.

I’ve seen calls on social media— on Substack itself— to cut people out of your life who voted the other way. I’ve heard of people crying at work because their colleagues called them racist. Judgement is raining down everywhere.

Friends, this isn’t the way forward. Please don’t push each other away. We are all we have.

Those institutions I listed before? They’re made up of people. Ordinary people making ordinary workplace choices, mostly for the common good. Librarians, teachers, park rangers, baristas. They are only the start of a list that also contains veterans, police officers, volunteer firefighters, eldercare workers, and so many more. America is those places and those people. It is your neighbors, family and friends— the ones who voted your side, and the ones who didn’t.

There will always be things to fear. There will always be things to grieve. That’s the human condition. But there will also be beauty, and books; there will be nature, and learning, and above all, community. To stop seeing those things because of a presidential election is to paralyze ourselves.

……….

So, where do we go from here?

As my father said, post-election, “Focus on your little corner of the world. Make it beautiful.”

Let’s pull ourselves out of that “you vs. me” mindset. Let’s stop letting politics polarize and paralyze us. Let’s just focus on each other, on the good parts of America, to help us move forward. We can do that by tending to our own corners of the world and focusing on the things we can change, rather than the larger forces of the world that are, to some extent, inescapable.

Some people will read this as overly optimistic or idealistic. I think it’s pragmatic. We need to focus on something. Why not focus on the goodness of other people? Why not focus on our daily lives? That’s what’s worked for human tribes for thousands of years.

……….

I still love America, because America is you.

You, my readers, who are struggling with the same things that I am. You will finish reading this (too long) article and move on with your day. You’ll care for children, call your aging parents, tend your garden, educate yourself. You’ll make a beautiful craft, or you’ll make a nourishing dinner. You’ll text a friend. You’ll be afraid, but you’ll hold that fear in place, alongside joy, gratitude, and belonging. Maybe you’ll go to a school or library board meeting. Maybe you’ll meet someone there who disagrees with you about politics but cares for the same local institutions. Maybe you won’t go to a meeting, but you’ll pull back from posting vitriol online. You’ll take a walk around your neighborhood, instead. You’ll appreciate the change of seasons.

You’ll be in your homes, having Good Character. You’ll be in your communities, showing Good Character.

Especially at a time when our leaders are profoundly lacking in Good Character, it’s vital that we be the example for each other and our kids.

We all have fear. But we all have goodness, too. During a crisis, “look for the helpers,” as Fred Rogers said. We are the helpers.

……….

As for my little corner of the internet world, I’m going to make it beautiful by focusing on the most positive, life-affirming aspects of Good Character for awhile. And every day for the rest of November (at least) I’m going to post a Substack note cheering a person I observed that day showing Good Character. It could be a stranger or someone I know. I won’t use names. I’ll just tell the story.

And for my little corner of the non-internet world, I’ll be loving my family, caring for my students, nurturing my passions, attending local meetings, and donating to nonprofits instead of a political party.

I’m going to try and move forward, holding hands instead of shaking fists.

Won’t you join me?

Photo by Shane Rounce on Unsplash

Stuff You Might Like To Know

I’m going to keep this short, because this post was much longer than usual. But I wanted you to know that there are still three more days to submit to IN A FLASH’s BODY issue. Read full submission guidelines here.

Thank you all for being here with me during these challenging times.

Keep hoping. Keep caring. Keep trying.