The Time The Princess Saved Herself
The Time The Princess Saved Herself
Being a Feminist
The Story
Sometime between 2010 and 2015, every woman with children between the ages of two and twelve released a collective cry at the climactic moment of the first FROZEN movie.
The princess saved herself, we all gasped, while our small daughters wriggled in her arms and our sons whispered in our ears, “When’s this gonna be over?”
She didn’t need a man, we all exclaimed, as Kristoff— always eager, never pushy— waited while Anna hugged her sister first, the object of her love.
She saved herself with love, we all cried, and then came a wave of fresh, cathartic tears as we collectively cleansed ourselves of a generation of backwards Disney messaging.
We grew up on Sleeping Beauty and Cinderella, Maid Marion and Jasmine, princesses who had spunk and a small amount of agency, but ultimately needed a man to make her dreams come true. Coded into our girl brains was the message that we couldn’t do anything by ourselves. We might be able to make a decision or two, but to achieve true happiness and fulfillment, we needed rescuing, by a strong, handsome (possibly swashbuckling) man.
Even Princess Leia— even Princess Leia!— taught us this lesson. Though she was a badass princess, Senator and eventual General who stood up to Darth Vader and never missed a shot, she also needed rescuing. Like, “We’re here to rescue you,” is one of the first things Luke says to her. And the rest of the adventure— including Leia falling in love, finding family, and saving democracy— can’t happen without it.
We, the girls of late Gen X and early Millennial, went off into the world with this story-as-framework, but it wasn’t long before we encountered the exact opposite message. Your teacher makes sexual comments? No one’s here to save you. Your drink is left unguarded on a bar top for five minutes? No one’s here to save you. Your company pays you less than the guy with less experience? No one’s here to save you. Depending on your experience, your princess story was either slowly eroded away or ripped off like a band-aid.
We all spent the first ninety minutes of FROZEN expecting the predictable ending. It wouldn’t be Hans, the actual prince, who kissed Anna and unfroze her— he was obviously the bad guy. It would be Kristoff, the poor ice harvester, the good friend. It was enough of a twist, wasn’t it? Nothing earth-shattering, but nice enough for a kid movie.
But then Anna’s love— her love for her sister, but also, for her family, and by extension herself— thawed her own heart. And a generation of women’s hearts did the opposite, bursting with righteous joy.
Yes, we thought. That’s how it is. The princess must save herself. We hugged our little girls close. We promised ourselves that they’d grow up knowing what the world was truly like, but also, that they had the power within them to change it.
Stuff You Might Like To Know
I’m currently reading ENCHANTMENT: AWAKENING WONDER IN AN ANXIOUS AGE by Katherine May. So far, it’s not impacting me as much as her previous essay collection, WINTERING, but it’s still a thought-provoking read.
I’m watching LUCY AND DESI, the documentary by Amy Poehler. I’m obsessed with Lucille Ball’s life and talent, and the Lucy/Desi love story. This film hit it out of the park for me.
I’m listening to Beyonce’s LEMONADE album; I missed the craze when it came out in 2016! So good.
Here’s to us, in all of our imperfect, striving goodness.
Keep hoping. Keep caring. Keep trying.