The Time I Welcomed The New Year With Rose Petals
The Time I Welcomed The New Year With Rose Petals
Being Reflective
The Story
When I was a teenager, I developed this weird ritual on New Year’s Eve. I’d take out all the things that were meaningful to me that year— journals; mix tapes; notes from friends; dried rose petals from school dances; pennants or trophies; my flute— and lay them out on my bed. I didn’t say a prayer or a chant, or transform the objects in any way. I just put them there as symbols of the year I’d had, and the things I hoped to carry forward into the new year. Sometimes I’d take a photo of all the things on my bed. I’d leave them out until midnight, then put them away.
I think this ritual was the beginning of a major theme in my life: keeping important things at the forefront of my mind, and planning my life around them. Also around this time, I began journaling every single day. Back then, I kept journals in sketch pads and wrote in colorful markers. (I still have them). These days, I journal on my MacBook Pro. But though the medium has changed, my desire for reflection remains constant.
I’m a little obsessed with reflection, actually. Here’s a confession: I do a reflection every single day. I have a list of questions I use for daily reflections, a longer list for weekly reflections, and a broader version fo seasonal reflections. These questions are a consistent part of my journaling practice.
For example, a daily reflection includes:
How are you starting your day? (I usually answer with two numbers, one for my physical health and one for mental well-being).
What and when are you going to create today?
What’s your workout plan?
When will you take a break?
What’s on your mind that makes you feel fearful or sad?
What’s on your mind that makes you feel hopeful or grateful?
I find that my reflections keep me grounded in my hopes, desires and intentions. Much like the dried rose petals or notes from friends on my bed, my reflections show what I’m thinking and feeling at this moment. In a deep reflection, the present shapes the future, fed by an understanding of the past.
The Character Trait
Being self-reflective promotes a deeper understanding of yourself by helping you notice patterns of behavior, emotional responses, and decision-making processes. A regular reflection process can guide you toward emotional healing, learning from mistakes, and growth in many areas of your life. It is key to reflect as a means to grow and learn. Dwelling excessively, without seeking either of those outcomes, will not be productive. Strike a balance between acknowledging the past and focusing on the present/future, and be sure to incorporate feelings of hope and anticipation into your reflections.
Let’s Do Some Stuff Together
It’s the perfect time for reflection, as we move forward into the new year! I prefer to keep a broader perspective on annual reflection. To get your juices flowing, describe your 2023 in these suggested categories. You can write it journal-style, or take some drawing paper and mind-map each word as if you were brainstorming. Make the reflection fun for you!
Family
Work (you can have more than one Work category if that applies to you— I have Teaching and Writing)
House/Home
Spirituality/Creativity
Health
Friendships
Media— Books/TV/Movies/Podcasts/Classes
Want more?
If you’re a parent, help your child reflect on their year by asking about high and low points. On a daily level, I like to ask my kids to share something that interested, annoyed, or delighted them. (This even works on pre-teens, who gravitate toward the “annoyed” sharing— but at least it’s information about their day!)
If you’re a teacher, create an exercise where students reflect on something they’ve achieved since the start of the school year, and how they made it happen. Then point to how this process will set them up for success later in the school year.
If you’re a writer/creator, reflect on a time you did your most meaningful work. How can you tap into that well again?
How did this work for you? Leave a comment below, and you might be featured in next week’s newsletter!
Last Week’s Leftovers
Last week, I wrote about A League of Their Own and the heart-based dichotomy between the two main characters. I didn’t get any comments on that one, which makes me think that readers may prefer that I share my own stories. I’ll keep experimenting until I find the stories that are most impactful to you!
In the meantime, if you DO find something impactful, please leave a comment! They’re so helpful to me.
Stuff You Might Like To Know
I’m prioritizing rest and family time, so I will be off Substack for the holiday season. You can expect next post on Tuesday, January 9th.
I’m currently reading The Summer I Turned Pretty. I’m contemplating writing a YA novel, and there’s no one better to research than Jenny Han.
I’m appreciating ChillSubs and their Sub Club newsletter, which helped me submit (and have accepted!) more Flash pieces in 2023.
I’m going to end Good Character in 2023 by thanking my loved ones who champion my writing life: my parents; my in-laws; my best friend; my writing pals; my husband and kids. Thank you all for your love and support. I couldn’t do any of this without you.
Here’s to us, in all of our imperfect, striving goodness.
Keep hoping. Keep caring. Keep trying.