The Time I Felt Hope. (Maybe. Kind Of. It Depends.)
Seeking Faith In Our Future
The Story
Weeks ago, I planned to write a post that would publish on Election Day. I wanted its theme to be HOPE, because I felt hope would be in short supply, and badly needed.
I tried writing it so many times. But I couldn’t; I was blocked. I didn’t feel any hope at all, only despair, fear, and grief. And I couldn’t post about that— could I?
Should I?
As I write this, it’s Monday, October 28th, eight days before the election, and this morning I woke up feeling so full of despair that I didn’t want to get out of bed. This has been happening to me more and more lately. It’s not just the election—- I’m also having some medical issues that lead to increased depression and anxiety— but there’s no doubt the state of the world is playing a big part.
If you’re paying attention to the race at all, you know that the divide between the candidates feels Grand Canyon-level wide. Therefore, the divide between us and our neighbors voting for the other side— or not voting at all, despite the stakes— feels that wide, too.
Photo credit: Leanne Sowul (on our trip to the Grand Canyon last March).
Though I’ve written in the past about my own politics (I already voted early for Kamala Harris and Tim Walz and will continue to help their campaign until the last minute), I still believe that Good Character can be found in people from both parties and everyone in between. However, that belief has grown fainter over the past several years. The faith is still there, flickering, but not ablaze.
Whatever happens on Election Day, that Grand Canyon-width divide will still be there. We’ll still know that we live in a country that disagrees about the most fundamental facts of truth vs. fiction, what makes a person American, and the future of humanity. 160 years ago, Abraham Lincoln told us that “a house divided against itself cannot stand.” So… can we? And if we can’t, what happens next?
The uncertainty and lack of control is what drains my hope. And without hope, there can be no faith in the future.
But I do have a remedy.
This morning, after I woke up with despair, I listened to a podcast by the ever-wise Beth Silvers of Pantsuit Politics. (You can find that episode of her subscriber-only show, “More to Say,” here.) She spoke about dread and hopelessness, knowing many of us were feeling the same. She described to us how she focused on the presence of the people she loves; on the tangible things that, no matter what happens in the next weeks or months, will still be true in her heart.
Basically, love is the remedy that bolsters hope and leads to faith.
With gratitude to Beth Silvers, here’s what I know to be true.
Whatever happens on election day, I know that my family will wake up together in the same house. I know that we’ll play UNO that night, and give each other hugs before bed.
I know that my husband will ask me, “What can I do for you?” when I’m feeling stressed.
I know that my son will notice if I’m sad or mad, and he’ll stop what he’s doing to make sure I’m okay.
I know that my daughter will ask me to snuggle her at night, and we’ll practice spelling words in the car, and we’ll make colorful drawings together. We’ll have mini dance parties in my newly-painted closet.
I know that my parents and in-laws will check in on me, and I’ll check in on them.
I know that my students will keep showing up for band, excited to learn, and will celebrate every new note and song.
I know that the holidays will be full of traditions I love, including using our Spode Christmas tree plates, putting up two Christmas trees, baking many cookies, and watching favorite movies.
These are the nuggets of love in my life; my certainties, the things under my purview. They give me hope.
They are not big themes in the scheme of the world, but they are big things to me.
How YOU Can Find Hope
First of all, vote. VOTE, VOTE, VOTE. Make a plan. Then make a back-up plan. If you don’t know exactly what’s going to be on your ballot (including local elections and referendums) use the Vote Save America ballot tool. Your vote is your voice and your power.
Second of all, tell everyone in your contact list to vote. Their vote is their voice and their power.
Third, make your own list of what’s under your control. What do you know, in your heart, to be true— no matter what happens next for America? What gives you hope?
And here’s one more certainty, one more little nugget of love.
Whatever happens on Election Day and beyond, I’ll be back here, writing to you, no matter what. We’ll keep exploring Good Character across the spectrum of humanity, no matter what.
Thank you all for being here with me during these challenging times. YOU give me hope.
Keep hoping. Keep caring. Keep trying.