Parenting With Character #1: Freedom
Parenting With Character #1: Freedom
Kids Need More Freedom In The Real World And Less Freedom Online
Just a reminder that I’m now popping into your inbox on Fridays for Mini-Column day. Today will be parenting-focused. Let me know what you think in the comments!
Everyone’s buzzing lately about Jonathan Haidt’s book THE ANXIOUS GENERATION and his publicity tour (I’ve heard him on at least three podcasts). One of the biggest takeaways from the book is that kids need more freedom in the real world, and less freedom on their phones. Many studies now show that phone usage and insular lifestyles are having a big effect on the mental health of teens and preteens.
I don’t think the pandemic is entirely to blame for this state of affairs, but it certainly sped up the process. During lockdown, parents were obsessed with safety above all else. Far from letting kids wander free in public spaces, we kept them home and handed them screens, relieved that we could still do our jobs, keep our household running, and maintain our sanity. This was necessary at the time; it was an emergency situation.
But unfortunately, patterns and habits from this period have now stitched themselves into the family fabric. The pandemic is over, but that time in our children’s development can’t be recaptured.
However, there’s nothing in parenting that can’t be revisited. So I’m taking Jonathan Haidt’s stance and this moment of reflection to weave some new strands in our family fabric. I’m starting a “scaffold,” as child psychologists say, to help my children begin to roam more independently. I’m going to encourage them to be out in the world on their own (with guidelines, expectations, and boundaries) in search of freedom and self-efficacy.
Because how can you become a free, confident adult if you’ve never had freedom or self-confidence as a kid?
How do you think the pandemic affected your family’s habits? Do you feel your kids need more freedom, or less?
Here’s to us, taking the bigger perspective and living the bigger life.
I’ll be back next week with more Good Character!