How To Repair

March Week 1, 2026

Sunday, 3/1/26

I freaking love when the first day of the month is a Sunday. It’s such a fresh start. Now that I’ve finished the bulk of my National Board work, here are my goals for March:

1. Enjoy the time with my family for some very big events, including my son’s performance in statewide honor band up in Syracuse next weekend; his promotion to junior black belt later this month; our spring break trip to the Great Smokies at the very end of March; and— whenever she chooses to arrive— the birth of my niece!!!

2. Focus on physical and mental wellness for myself, applying the recent research I’ve done on hormones and nutrition at this stage of my life.

3. Seek and query more agents for my novel, JO & MARY.

4. Finalize all the details of my National Board portfolio so that I can upload it as soon as April 1 hits.

5. Appreciate every sign of spring arriving.

I think it’s going to be a great March. And so does my 9-year old daughter, who this past Friday, bought herself a planner just like mine and wants to be planning buddies. I love it!

Monday, 3/2/26

I’m reading a fantastic book called EVERYTHING I KNOW ABOUT HORMONES by Hannah Alderson, and it’s such a helpful guide to navigating my changing hormonal landscape at this stage of my life. I gasped out loud last night when I read, in the section on nutrition, a strong endorsement of tomatoes as a food rich in beta-carotenoids and lycopene, both of which are important nutritional aides during menopause. Many studies have showed that tomatoes reduce cholesterol, blood sugar, and blood pressure in women, countering the effects of menopause on those markers.

I hated tomatoes for the first 40 years of my life. And then, all of a sudden, I loved them— right as I began what I later learned was the onset of early menopause. I went from hating them to eating them almost every day.

The body knows, you know?

Tuesday, 3/3/26

Unexpected snow day today, and it’s not welcome news— this means we’ll be losing the Friday of Memorial Day weekend, which is my favorite long weekend of the year, when weather is beautiful, the school concert season is over, and there’s a taste of summer break. It’s going to be really hard not to have that. And today’s snow day also throws off all my schedules and therefore lesson plans for the next several school days, because we’re on a 6-day cycle, which means I’m at a different school depending on what “day” it is, and also means that different conflicts arise depending on the day of the week and how it interacts with the day of the cycle. So now I have to discard plans for previous conflicts and create new ones for this scenario. It’s just annoying.

I wish I could be the kind of person who just instantly enjoys a snow day and doesn’t even think about the next day’s work. Unfortunately, I’m not quick to pivot. It takes me time to shed the old map even while my brain is already whirring, figuring out the new one. Still, I’ll get there eventually. A snow day is an unexpected gift. Right?

Wednesday, 3/4/26

My oldest child is 13, so I’ve spent about 14 years thinking about the type of parent I want to be. I used to think that the best way to parent was calmly and firmly. Clear boundaries in some cases; flexibility in others. For the most part, I still believe that. But I’ve started to think that calm— as many espouse it, “gentle” parenting— leaves a lot to be desired.

First, expecting yourself to be 100% calm when you’re around your kids— which is most of your day— is an unrealistic standard. When you’re a perfectionist like me (maybe even if you’re not), that means feeling like a failure just for letting your feelings show. That failure feeling trickles down into other parts of your psyche and affects who you are, not just as a parent, but as a person.

Second— and this is something I can verify as both a parent and a teacher— kids are more emotionally intelligent than adults. They can immediately spot phony behavior, and if you keep your preternaturally calm mask on, they’re going to keep trying to see behind that mask, leading to behavior escalation.

And third, if you never allow yourself to be angry or say the wrong thing, you’ll never show your kids what it is to be human. We all make mistakes, even parents. And crucially, parents must be role models for how to recover from mistakes. Kids need to know how to repair. So now, if I’m mad, I let myself be mad. If I say the wrong thing, I repair with a thoughtful, sincere apology. This is something I learned from my dad, who was an excellent apologizer after fights, even when I was equally in the wrong. (I have memories of him waving a literal white flag, in the form of his handkerchief, through the crack in my bedroom door.)

Photo by Ante Hamersmit on Unsplash

Thursday, 3/5/26

I haven’t written anything about the war, or the stock market, or continued ICE raids, or, or, or (times infinity).

I can’t control those things, so I try not to think about them— but of course, I fail.

I still don’t know what it means to have Good Character when the world seems so bleak. But I do believe that my ancestors knew how to keep going despite the horrors they lived through, and I believe that they lived the best lives they could in the circumstances they have.

So maybe that’s all we can do. Figure out our version of our best life— which includes spreading good to others in the ways we know best.

Stuff You Might Like To Know

The March issue of In a Flash, MAPS, is truly one of our best. I was honored to be the lead editor of this issue. I hope you enjoy “The Cartography of Knowing” by Joshua Ernest.

I watched the movie HOOK with my family this week— it totally holds up! There’s nothing that 1990s Robin Williams can’t cure. And Dustin Hoffman as Captain Hook is incredible. And those kids! The cutest, best child actors ever!

Hey, everyone: if you made it to the end, thank you. You’re one of the good ones, and I’d love to hear what you think. To help our community grow, please comment and share with others.

Keep hoping. Keep caring. Keep trying.